I've watched three movies lately, and normally that would mean three new reviews. However. In this case, I just didn't feel like reviewing them. For one, of the three, two of them were crap. And the one really good one was a sequel to one of the crappy ones, but I didn't realize, at first, that I had part one on DVD until I'd already watched the sequel, and as much as I loved the second movie, that first one was just plain dull and lifeless and I felt sort of drained at the prospect of reviewing them both when I only liked one of them. As for the third movie...I know I enjoy reviewing terrible movies sometimes, but at other times they're just so bad I can't bring myself to spend that time on it. So here are the movies I watched recently, and a little about them:
This is an adaptation of a Jack Ketchum novel, with Ketchum writing the screenplay and I can't believe I didn't like this. I love Ketchum's writing and the novels of his I've read, and I thought I'd absolutely love this movie. Especially since I accidentally watched the sequel first. But this one, holy crap, man. First off, it looked like it was shot on video, and cheap stock video at that. The plot was simple beyond belief while the climax barely even existed. I was glad to see Pollyanna McIntosh in the role of The Woman again, since she played the same role in the sequel, but man this was just a bad movie.
I LOVED this movie. It was so much more than I had expected it would be, so much deeper and more indicative of Ketchum's talent. The performances, also, were outstanding, along with the direction of the very extremely talented Lucky McKee. Skip OFFSPRING altogether, but definitely spend the time to see THE WOMAN. Such a great horror movie.
I had zero expectations going into this movie, and even then it STILL managed to disappoint. Kelly Hu was mis-used, Robert Picardo was ridiculously over-playing it, and if you can find one other single actor in here you even vaguely recognize from anything else at all, then you win. I know Asylum movies are known for being bad, but good God, this one hit new levels with a plot that didn't follow any sort of logical thought processes behind it, plain stupid character decisions and a building on CGI fire. There's failing because you're incompetent and then there's just not even trying. This one falls into that latter category.